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for Conduct Disorder

Ethical Treatment for All Youth
Email: etay@ethicaltreatment.org

About the author

By Timothy J. Kahn
Brandon, VT:  Safer Society Press, 1999.
For ages 6-12

(pp. 157-158)

Here is what Kaitlyn, age 9, wrote to her 6-year-old brother Karl.  She wrote the letter after she had been in counseling for about four months.

Dear Karl,
I am very sorry I hurt you in the private parts.  I am getting help now.  I will not do it again!  I can remember touching and hurting you on the privates about 10 times with my hand.  I also touched you and made you put your penis in my private parts 4 times.  I can understand why you are sometimes scared to be around me.  What I did to you was very wrong.  I am working in counseling so I will not hurt you again.  I will not chase you at school, because I don't want you to feel scared.  I am also going to follow all of my treatment rules from now on.
Your sister,

Your letter should cover these points:
1.  Today's date.
2.  A greeting (like "Dear" or "Hello") using the person's right name.
3.  An apology (saying "I'm sorry") for your wrong touching.
4.  Write exactly what you did to the other person.  Write how you touched him or her.  Say how many times you did it.
5.  If you lied about it or blamed it on the other person, admit it.
6.  Write that the touching was your fault and not the victim's fault.
7.  Say what you are doing to stop your wrong touching.
8.  Give another apology for your wrong touching.
9.  Promise to not hurt or touch the other person again (but only if you really mean it and want to keep your promise.)
10.  Sign your name!

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