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MELISSA'S
SON,
13 Hello. I have a 13 year old son that has been accused of child molestation of an 8 year old boy. (His mother was my best friend.) So let me tell you about me. I am a pretty level-headed person, but you mess with my children, that is where I draw the line. But for some reason I didn't get all nasty about this. I wanted justice the legal way. My son from day one has claimed he is innocent and didn't do these things. As soon as I found out I started asking for advice from online sources. I was mainly looking for my son's legal rights for our state. I was given a great abundance of information...One was to hire a private lawyer and not go with a public defender. Okay, well, my first thought was how will I pay for this? We asked for a referral and changed our lives accordingly. I am paying a very large sum of money and still trying to take care of the bills. In the beginning, all of our friends and family were like we will help anyway we can. I will send you money, and then bam, everyone was hit with this, that, or the other. I informed our lawyer that no matter what we would get him paid, and started cutting back on things. (Just so you know, we are a two-parent household both with decent jobs raising three wonderful children, but still live paycheck to paycheck.) After my son was released from detention after court (less than 24 hours), I started looking for a counselor. Someone he could talk to and express himself to because he might feel mom and dad are mad at him now (plus I was worried if he would become suicidal from all this added stress). I am glad I started that because in less than 24 hours there he had seen a child try to strangle himself. As a term for his release my son has to be on 24/7 adult supervision (not with an ankle bracelet), and probation can come and check on him at any time. (Keep in mind he has not yet been convicted.) So my husband and I switched shifts and I stayed on days and he went to nights, so one of us is always there. (What a sacrifice, let me tell you.) As a few weeks went by his sisters started to get irritated because he couldn't take out the trash or walk the dogs (typical sibling stuff). But in the house means in the house. He was getting depressed because he was beginning to think we hated him for our lives changing so drastically and quickly. At that time I sat down all three of my children and explained to them that we are in this together. We do not hate anyone for what we are going through. It is making us stronger. (Boy, did I wonder at times as I would cry myself to sleep and pray I would wake up from this horrible nightmare.) A few more days went by and now my girls are getting harassed by people who shouldn't even be involved and the victim's siblings which are younger than him. I just had to keep reminding them that we will get through this and to ignore their ignorant behavior. (At times that can be hard as an adult, much less a child.) We decided to take all of them off the school bus. (My youngest attends school with the victim and he would pull her hair and kick her and call her names.) I constantly remained in contact with probation since we had to have approval for him to go anywhere. I called her sometimes two times a week just to ask questions. (We have never been through anything like this and pray that any one else would never have to.) We finally had our second day in court (the first being him released to us) and the victim's family was there acting like we were doing things that he wasn't allowed to do (trying to get him detained again) like leaving him at home alone, or allowing him to work in the yard (that changed about a month into this), but since I constantly communicated with probation, they only had wonderful things to say about my son. (Finally something going in my direction.) The judge allowed him to stay at home still and issued a no-contact order for both sides. (I had pictures of the victim and one of his brothers hanging out in front of my home trying to harass my son.) Since that ruling and a few pissed-off parents, there has been no more harassment toward my girls, my son, or us. Now mind you, this is far from over. We still have at least two more court dates. Plea agreement--I thought this would be a quick answer and end our nightmare. Well, I prayed an awful lot for this answer. (Mind you, I am not the faithful church goer, but I do PRAY.) Then it came to me: Why let my son accept guilt for something he swears didn't happen? What would that do to him later down the line? Could I live with this? Then I found out that if he takes a plea agreement and then states to his probation officer that he didn't do anything...well then we are back in court for perjury. (Does it ever end?) Our next court date is the end of October so we still have a long road ahead of us, but lean on your friends and family and if they don't understand, don't try and make them. (Some people pass judgment just because it sounds awful.) Just keep your head up and stay strong (even though at times it seems impossible). Always stay compliant with whatever they are asking, and keep all your documentation. Also, there will be those people who shouldn't know but do and have big mouths....Well I am filing a slander case when this is all over. I am not after anyone's money (could greatly use it but...) I want public apologies! They are going to have to send out a newsletter to our entire community and apologize to my son for running their mouths and sign it and give their name. I figure what would be better than humiliation? I just want the prejudging mental people to know that you can't always judge without the facts! I have also recently found out that my son's rights were violated, because when the detective was questioning him (and we were in the room), after she continued to make allegations that my son was guilty, I informed her she was done speaking with my son until he has an attorney! She went back in and started asking him more questions! If you would like updates on the case or any other advice you may email me at mzchelle73@yahoo.com. I will say I can only give you what my current experience is, but I would be willing to listen, too. Sincerely, Melissa Boucher Indianapolis, IN Submitted Sept. 20, 2007
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