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DANNY PHILLIPS, 15 Our son Danny was curious about sex when he was around 8 or 9. He did a "show me yours and I'll show you mine" thing with a sister when she was 6 and he about 9. But he was 14 when he fondled another one of his sisters who was 5 years old. We spanked him and prayed with him, and we truly thought that was the end of it. That was when we were living in Tacoma, WA. Well, when we moved to Indiana, one of the kids told me it happened again, the fondling with the now 6 year old. I guess it was like a game to him. No physical force, and not hurting his sister. I'm not trying to excuse Danny. What he did was clearly wrong. The other sister that he touched, or tried to at least, is autistic and I doubt that he did much with her, because we had to hold her down to even give her medicine because she didn't like to be touched. She would scream if anyone even tried to hold her tight. I don't think the siblings were horribly traumatized by Danny's actions, but they were pretty sheltered, so their consciences were more tender than someone who had been exposed to sexual things. We didn't even have a TV, and our children were either homeschooled or attended a Christian day school all their lives, so they were pretty naive. I was in the process of getting counseling for Danny. I had taken him to a local doctor to get the referral so insurance would pay for the counseling, but at the time I was struggling with a very difficult pregnancy. I told the doctor that I would have to put this on hold until after the baby was born. But I never had that chance. My baby was only 5 days old when my children were taken from me and my husband Jon. I had confided in my pastor's wife about what Danny had done. We don't know who actually reported him, but we are pretty sure it was someone from the church. CPS removed all ten children from our home. Their action stemmed from what Danny did, of course, and then because they said my house was too dirty and I wasn't caring for my handicapped children properly. (I have all kinds of medical records proving that I cared for my girls. ) As far as the messy house goes, I had been home from the hospital only a day and a half and had come home in a wheelchair because I had a birthing injury that left me totally helpless and unable to walk. Danny was first placed in treatment at Kinsey in Kokomo, then moved to Resolute in August of 2001. Only two days later he wrote us a letter stating his confusion about how he was being questioned. He wrote, "I am somewhat upset and surprised about this place. Everybody (all the staff, that is) keeps asking me the same questions over and over, and that upsets me." Their questioning of Danny was like, "How many times did your father put his penis in your anus?" and "How many of your siblings did you father?" This kind of questioning was horrible. It automatically insinuated that this kind of stuff was going on. They would question and question him, and he had to tell them something to get them off his back. He never could pass a polygraph test. He was required to write down all of his sexual fantasies. When he went to group he had to sit and listen to what each boy had done to each victim in detail. I researched and found some other places--Christian-based--that were willing to take Danny, but the judge flatly refused to send him anywhere else. Then he deemed me a manipulative mom who wanted to thwart Danny's "treatment." From then on our whole case began a downward slide. The longer Danny was at Resolute, the wilder the stories from the staff got. I was accused of molesting Danny because I breastfed the other babies in his presence. The story came out that my son was "milking" my breasts. Jon and I were accused of molesting him because we bathed him when he was older--we have the medical proof that he had a problem and we were just doing what good parents should do and cleaned him up. (I have worked in the nursing field since right out of high school, and I've yet to get aroused when washing a poopy behind!) You see, they ask a child if their parents have ever "touched" them. They don't define "touch". One of the parents of another boy at Resolute said their son was asked this question, and he said yes. Then they asked how many times. He's thinking, well, mom hugs me and kisses me and pats me on the shoulder, and they are pressing him to tell how many times, so he throws out the number 200. So it came out in a report that the mother molested the boy 200 times. They press these kids constantly to tell. In our reports they kept saying that Danny was hiding "family secrets" and he wasn't ready to tell them yet. People in our community heard about these reports and we began to be shunned. We would get phone calls and people would call us child molesters and then slam the phone down. People who used to be our friends turned their backs on us. What hurt us the most was when our own pastor believed these reports and believed that we had molested Danny. When we cut ties with this church, the reports said we did not want to face our sexual issues and that we turned down help from our pastor to help us deal with our "sexual issues." Resolute had Danny on Luvox, and I think it was causing him to get violent, as they said he threw a mattress at a staff member and also hit a staff member in the face with an orange and then denied doing it. He was never violent when he was at home. Luvox is a very strong drug and if I remember right he was on 150 mg or something like that a day. The philosophy of the DFC and Resolute is that since our son did what he did, then the parents must have molested him to make him act out that way. The false allegations came thick and fast out of Resolute. They question these kids unmercifully until they are pressured into saying something just to make the interrogator leave them alone. Then their answers are twisted and used against the parents. Jon and I did not accept these false allegations and went to a professional (Dr. Larry Davis in Indianapolis) who proved that we weren't sex addicts and pedophiles, but the court would not accept his report. (He wasn't court approved.) Jon and I still would not agree to the false reports and accept them as truth, and because of our resistance, we are viewed as non-compliant and that we are "minimizing" our sexual problems. Because we are willing to speak up about the way our son was treated, we are deemed manipulative and a barrier to treatment. The judge ordered a no contact order. We no longer could call, write, or visit our son, and later contact was removed from all our other children. If Jon and I had molested Danny, then we needed to be put in jail. We have begged our lawyer to allow us to be tried in criminal court because there is not evidence enough to convict us of any crime. But in family court, hearsay is all that is needed to keep our kids away from us. Actually we feel we are being treated worse than criminals, because at least criminals can visit their own children. Finally when Danny wouldn't come under treatment at Resolute, he was sent to Boys' School. He wasn't allowed any of his personal effects at the DOC, so I went to the local probation's office to pick up his things. When I was going through them to pack them away, I ran across a paper in his notebook. After reading it, I could clearly see why Danny could not "get with their program." He wrote, "I feel that I am being violated because you (Lynn or Lori) are saying things about my parents that have been unproven and/or unrepresented, including, but not limited to the following quotes: 'Which of those children are you the father of?' 'How many times did Dad suck your penis?' 'How many times did Dad put his penis in your mouth?' etc. And no, I am NOT trying to defend my parents. I know you have their polygraph reports. Why are you calling me a liar, Lynn? I cannot recall any sexual act between me and my parents. Especially my mother!" Later when Danny turned 18, and we were allowed to have contact with him again, he wrote a letter to us explaining more of what was going on there at Resolute: Every time I met with any counselor/group leader, he or she would try to tell me when I was telling lies and when I was denying details of my offenses during disclosures. They tried to force me to say things about you and other people, including Grandpa Phillips, that were untrue and disgusting. They tried to make me say that I'd done something to Esther, Joel, Charity and Mom! Also they "suspected" that I had done something to or with a cousin. They just didn't care that I was telling the God-honest truth (to the best of my knowledge.) The staff would also mistreat me--of course it wasn't ALL of them ALL the time, but it was most of them most of the time. They would yell at me, curse me out, throw me on the floor or against a wall or door frame for petty attention-seeking behavior, get me placed on SAO (sexually acting out) precautions, suicide watch aggression, isolation, etc. Danny also wrote a letter to the Attorney General's office. Several families have filed complaints with the Attorney General's Office about Resolute, and we are told it is actively investigating them. As far as Boy's School goes--it wasn't nearly as bad as we were told. Danny has gotten help there and he is doing great. At Resolute he was branded as high risk for re-offending. In fact the judge told him one day in court that he was a criminal and would spend the rest of his days incarcerated because he was a threat to society. His counselor at Boys' School is a wonderful man who saw through all all the reports from Resolute and saw Danny in a different light. After working with him, this counselor does not see Danny as a criminal and says he's very low risk to re-offend. In fact, Danny is in the process right now of being released to come home. IBS receives many boys from Resolute, and they don't have much confidence in the program there at Resolute. But the damage that Resolute has caused our family is unconscionable. The reports were shared with our other children, and they have been led to think that we don't want them back because we aren't "getting with CPS's Program." The caseworkers have told our children that what we are doing by protesting is illegal. I feel like our family would be back together if Danny had not gone to Resolute, and had been allowed to go to the Christian-based facility or even been sent straight to Boy's School instead. I found out that one of the reasons the judge didn't want him to go to Boys' School was because the county had to pay for him in the DOC, but as long as he was at Resolute, Medicaid paid for his stay, thus freeing Clinton County of "the burden." I am in the process of preparing a program that I can take into low income neighborhoods and present to families and kids about what is going on and how terrible the repercussions are if kids are caught. I hope to begin within the next few weeks, but am unsure about how many people will come to listen. Parents are in denial about what is happening until one of their children is arrested. Julie Phillips
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